Fat Ass 2006... WOW !! I need a bigger shovel

If I am going to "dig deeper" (or better yet dig a hole to crawl into and die) I am going to need a bigger shovel, cause this ain't working now... Those were just some of the thoughts rolling through my head from about the 40 km mark on...

I absolutely have to send out a HUGE thanks for all the support, patience and positive vibes aimed back at me from all the super strong runners (mostly the girls) in our group that coulda, shoulda easily finished at least 45 minutes to an hour earlier had they not been dragging a big old anchor (yours truly) along with them for the last 10 or 15 km's of this fine event.

Without even diving into the red wine the night before it seemed my stomach had decided Jan 1st 2006 would be a good day to shut down and stop processing anything (somewhere around the turn around point of this run). I tried to stave off the inevitable bonking by downing a whole bottle of Gatorade at the 33 km support stop but that didn't work either. Then it seemed all remaining energy I had was slowly blown away in the headwinds coming back along the Jericho Beach to Planetarium stretch. By the time I crawled up onto the Burrard Street Bridge, I was done like dinner. Hey guess what, only another 8-10 kms to go!!! Ya-hoo...

From there on in, our planned (and up till that point pretty workable) 10 and 1's, started turning into 5 and 1's and then oh... a few 1 and 1's. Heck in some cases probably even tossed in a few 1 and 5's by the time we hit the trails in Stanley Park. By the way, was it only me that noticed there was a few Mount Everest hills added to the Stanley Park return route that were definitely not there in the morning or any other time I have run through there?? My body was not quite finished with me yet, as around Third Beach the dry heaves started about every couple of minutes. That part was really fun!! ... I would conveniently slide off the back of the group for those trail-side twister sessions so as not to wig anyone out too much.

Oh yeah, another late run highlight for me was walking downhill... Now I don't have as much running experience as many of you, but what is up with that?? My mind was saying "what are you doing, you can RUN this, just let gravity do some of the work", but my body was just about shut down and not accepting any new data input. Around Lumbermans Arch my Garmin beeped notifying me that I had just "completed lap 31" (in miles). I actually had to smile and shake my head when it also told me that this last mile had been a smoking fast 17:40 some odd mile... Nice. Considering most of that last mile from Prospect Point to there was either flat or downhill, you may start to get some picture of how well I was doing at this point. OK body, come on... only a few more minutes and then hopefully this will all go away.

We popped out of the trail at the end of the parking lot and the remaining 7 others in our group all held hands high and proud for our last 50 meter run to the fire hydrant finish. Everyone was so stoked, but I had to beg them to slow down... I just couldn't get up that parking lot at the speed they wanted to go. I had visions of being dragged the last 25 meters by the others, face down, toes back/soles showing straight up. At that point, nothing was slowing them down. For all but one of them in this group, this was their first Ultra, and they had all done FANTASTIC !!!

A big congratulations out to Angela, Rhonda, Heather, Dan, Peter, Darren, Elke, Celina, Debbie, Joe, Lori, Carie, Ofelia... all from our Coquitlam Running Room group and all of whom finished their first full 50 kms! Out of this huge group, Dan was the only repeat offender to the FA50. Also big shout-outs go to Ruby for a strong 33 kms (pretty good considering she is training for Boston and was only thinking about doing 25 km), and to Stephen for a great first half-ass 25 km and to my good wife Diane and Amanda for their half marathon distance goal of 21 km and their first Fat Ass event! Actually, for all but 2 of the 18 runners in our big group, the 2006 Fat Ass Event was their first club run and I'm sure it will not be their last.

Special thanks also goes out to Pat (Rhonda's husband) who drove our loaded up support van all day, met us along the way, carried all the liquid and treats, and nice dry clothes we wanted and needed... and even hoped on his bike to come meet us out on the trails. He always reassured us that we looked great and strong, even though I'm sure he was thinking otherwise. Thanks Pat!!! Next year can ya pack some fresh legs for me too?

And in summary, considering how lousy the last 10 or so kms was I thought it was pretty funny when I scooted onto last year's results and found that we touched that fire hydrant within 1 minute of our 2005 finish. If anything we are consistent... Amazing. There is always next year to improve on that time right, or at least improve on how I feel at the end??

Thanks again to Ean, Sibylle and the behind the scenes support crew that put on this great event, we WILL BE BACK!!

Pete Stace-Smith (3rd year repeat offender)

Ps I didn't even tell you about all the fun we did have, and the super cool stuff we saw and noticed. Maybe one of our other Coquitlam runners can expand on the good stuff so you all don't think it was a gruelathon. See, even one day later, I am already forgetting all the pain. :)

Musings of a converted Fat Asser

There were two questions that immediately came to mind when my friend Pete talked to me about running the "Fat Ass 50" on New Year's day 2006.  The first was why would you admit to having a fat ass?- after all I have spent many years of concealment and skillful dressing to disguise this fact; - and the second question was - why would I want to run 50kms on New Year's day after a night of partying and drinking?

It was only after seeing the logo on the T-shirt that  I knew I would participate in this event- after all how else could I legitimately claim ownership of such a shirt?

Knowing that I wasn't the only loonie in the bunch, recruitment in the form of Sunday White Spot breakfasts and Wednesday evening after-running drinks at the bar (Canadian Army take note of superior recruitment tactics) resulted in eighteen enlistees from Coquitlam signing up for the Fat Ass 50 event.

So here we all were, eighteen people with fat asses coming out of the closet to show up clean and sober on January 1, 2006, ready to run 50kms.  To put an exclamation mark on our fat ass "outing", our running pal Elke donned a rubber fat ass to her shorts to ensure there was no subterfuge.  Photo identification of all participants took place around the fire hydrant at Brockton Oval (move over all canine creatures) and then we were off.

Our fearless Peter navigated us through the maze of Stanley Park trails- after all we were yokels from the "burbs" - and we wound our way around the bay to Spanish Banks and Jericho Beach.  Of course we had our survival vehicle, the "Norco Van" with our intrepid volunteer Pat at the helm, following us to ensure our every need was catered to - I mean doesn't everyone have one of those?  To supplement our supplies we felt obliged to partake at the refreshment tent at Jericho Beach.  The chicken soup with 20 cloves of garlic was particularly appealing (maybe not so much 10kms later) as was the guy with the nice blue eyes that was serving it, - some women of the group took particular notice of this.

We headed up into the UBC endowment lands, faithfully following our leader, passing through amazing scenery to successfully make it to the turn-around. Of course we had to replete ourselves once again at our survival vehicle, do a complete strip of clothing on the side of the road - we all have the same basic anatomy with minor variations - and head back again.

Needless to say tired legs and aching bodies were the order of the day and the wind and rain that greeted us on our return journey along Spanish Banks added that extra touch.  However we strode purposefully forward through the looming twilight, meandered to a crawl through Stanley Park, girded our loins and joined hands to run a dramatic finish into Brockton Oval.  Collapsing deliriously over the fire hydrant six hours and forty-seven minutes later, we all agreed it was a great way to bring in 2006.  The Great Visionary who thought up this event and the wonderful members of Club Fat Ass have out undying (or is it dying?) thanks.  We checked out asses, noted they were still of a considerable size- dare I say fat?- and decided we were candidates again for the 2007 Fat Ass 50 event.  Thanks to all for an amazing time!!

Rhonda

New Year's Resolutions - One Down!

The post race euphoria has gone by now and the tired muscles are slowly recovering...in fact I ventured out for my first post Vancouver New Year's Day 50km run this morning. Time to reflect on an epic day.

After an intense taper because of a pre Christmas stomach flu, I feared I forgot how to run, lost all my training and was in general sandbagging mode. The weather forecast of torrential rains and gale force winds did not raise my mood. 50km...what was I thinking?

The first day of 2006 dawned gray and mild, but almost dry. The forecast was upgraded to showers (which Vancouverites know to mean there may or may not be dry spells in between downpours). I had difficulties deciding what to wear. Would it be better to be hot and dry or comfortable, but soaked. In the end I opted for a long sleeve technical shirt and my MEC burly weather jacket, with a short sleeve shirt and vest in a drop bag for the turn-around. The hydration pack was filled with an electrolyte concoction, enough gels to survive a couple of days, some granola bars, money, an emergency blanket and a flashlight.

The starting area at Brockton Oval in Stanley Park was one busy place. We had close to 100 preregistered runners all eager to start the year with a 50km run. When Ean sent the field off (I swear his watch was a few minutes early), I discovered that I had forgotten to put my post race bag into Michelle's car. By the time I had things organized (thanks for waiting, Pat and Michelle - sorry for the confusion Cheryl, Rhonda and Faith) we were dead last. At least no pressure to keep up with the fast guys ;-)

All pre race jitters were forgotten. I felt pumped and we had to make an effort to keep our pace down. Winding through the trails in Stanley Park Doug Keir and Baldwin Lee, who must have slept in, passed us. Both were somewhat familiar with the course and didn't slow down to read the course instructions (the worst combination and a sure way to get lost...) After rescuing them 3 times from a wrong turn, they finally decided it was prudent to stay with us through the park. Not sure how they fared for the remainder of the run?

Pat, who missed some of our long training runs because of sickness, decided that a 25km run was probably enough for her, turned around at Kits Beach. Michelle and I ventured on, now seriously trying to catch up to Faith and Cheryl.

I don't know about you, but 10km into the run I was still not sure what the best clothes were for the day. Long sleeve tech shirt and vest started to be too hot. Off went the jacket, but once we turned west, the winds started to pick up and rain was pelting us, I needed more. Off went the shirt and on went the jacket. That kept me happy for a while, although I was concerned about chafing around the neck from the hydration pack - the shirt had provided a layer between pack and skin that the jacket didn't.

At Jericho Beach we passed the 8km Resolution Runners just assembling for an 11:00 am start. Cheryl and Faith still were nowhere to be seen. Jordan and John's aid station just before the course veers off into Pacific Spirit Park was a welcome reason for a short break, gummy worms and a chocolate chip cookie.

My hips started to get sore on the long flat area and both Michelle and I were happy to be back on soft trails and varied terrain in Pacific Spirit Park. The 7+km to the turn-around seemed easy and fast. High fiving all the runners already on the return leg certainly was a mood buster (not that we were suffering). Thanks for all those lies centered around "Looking good".

We picked up Cheryl just before crossing 16th Ave, but still no sight of Faith...did she get lost on the trails? The rains were still holding back and the woods protected us from the gale force winds on the beach. Approaching the turn-around we even spotted some blue sky and I felt almost giddy. What a good surprise it was to find a fully staffed aid station with smiling, happy folks including my husband, at the turn-around. I guess this is were we spent the 4 minutes that were missing for an under 7h finish time in the end...Thanks John and Sarah.

The Coquitlam group set out for the return trip with us, but we could not keep up with their 10/1 rhythm of running and walking, no matter how severely Pete was bonking ;-) Eventually, we lost sight of them and continued through the mud alone. I have no recollection of loosing Cheryl, but somewhere she stayed behind and despite a wait at the aid station, did not catch up again. We did however catch a glimpse of Faith before driving rain and winds made us put our heads down and just focus on each single step getting us closer to the more protected area of Point Grey Road. Mercifully, the elements had pity and by the time we hit Kits Beach, we had roped in Faith and Roy. One by one we passed more runners and despite starting to get tired, were riding a endorphin high.

Our pace was perfect. Michelle seemed to have exactly the same speed and was able to keep up when we started to see the end of a very long 50km (I heard some GPS owners talk about measuring 54km) and increased our speed slightly. Seemed like a whole bunch of lost lambs relied on our navigational skills through Stanley Park. The harder the wind whipped through the old trees the faster we got. We heard at least one tree fall near by and came across another one that blocked the trail. Thankfully, the fire hydrant, aka finish line was near.

As for the "Freeze your Ass Swim" at the end...we tried! The meter high waves crashing into the seawall prevented us to get in. Roy, Michelle and I did sit down on the stairs leading down and got a full body soak instead ;-)